Richie Newman

from Richie's Mom:

It has been 7 months. 7 of the longest months of my life.
7 months that I wish had never happened. I was asked to write
something to put on this page, where do I begin?

Do I want to talk about the terrible night that changed my life
and so many others? The night that I have relived over and over again.
So many times ...

Do I do this trying to make it feel real? Even through I am
living this it will never be real to me. How can a mother ever
accept this? I just don't know if I ever will.

Last time I saw him before he did this he was standing in the kitchen.
He seemed so happy. Everything seemed fine. Now it's just a memory.
One that I don't want to fade away. What happened after we left
home that night? I have gotten bits and pieces of it.
I know that Megan called him around 6:30 and told him it was over.
He told her that he couldn't live without her and that he
was gonna kill himself. The next thing I know is that
he was laying on the sidewalk at Walmart. He asked the fireman
"I'm not gonna die am I?"

I know that he didn't really want to die.
He if had of he wouldn't have took time to
lay his leather jacket off to the side so it wouldn't get burned.
Why did he do something so harmful?
I have been told by his younger brother Billy that the night before
him and Richie had been watching the WWF wrestling on TV.
On that show one of the wrestlers, The Undertaker
had poured gasoline on another wrestler and set him on fire.
Is that where he got the ideal? Just another one of those questions
that we will never know the answer to.
So many questions....and so little answers.
I really do hope that these pages touches someone.
Maybe just maybe it will stop one person from ending their life.
If you are thinking about killing yourself stop and think
about the ones you leave behind. You might be leaving the pain
that you have but you are leaving behind, to the ones who love you,
the worse pain they could ever feel.
No mother should ever have to walk into a hospital room
and see their son laying there with 2nd and 3rd degree burns
over 98% of their body. No mother should ever have to tell their child
go on be with God and then watch him slip out of this world.
Watch the monitor go flat line. Watch their child take there last breath.
Pick out a coffin to bury their child in. put their child in the ground.
No mother should ever have to feel that pain.

The last thing I want to say is to Richie
and it is taken from a song that he wrote and sang.
It is from the song Love Potion No.9.

I promise you I will cherish you everyday.
Which wont be hard cause your with me everyday.